“If I had a sister, it would be so much fun to exchange clothes with her”, this was my ultimate reason behind the wish of wanting a sister terribly, whilst I was young. However, as I grew up, I knew this wish will never be granted, since I was gifted with a brother instead. As time passed on, I still shared the secret wish of having a sister with my mother and to which she always responded with a laugh and the answer that “you have cousins and they all are your sisters too”. I agreed with her answer to some extent, but I always added the fact that they are younger than me whereas, I needed someone who is similar to my age and with whom I can share my clothes. Silly me!
With the tick tick of the clock, my wish of sister remained the same, but the reasons changed significantly. As I grew up to a teenager, I wanted a sister with whom I can get a piece of advice on the clothes I wear, first crush, talking about the movie (A walk to remember – in own ishtyle), sharing the real deep feelings of the novel (Love Story by Erich Segal), talking about the funny incidents of classroom, burdens of homework etc.
However, when I crossed the teenage and found myself climbing the ladders of maturity, I found that I was occupied with my studies and career that the circle of my friends kept me occupied and the tied knot wish slowly started to loosen than before. The pressure of doing something on my own or as we say “Standing in own Feet” (Afno khutta ma ubinu- A popular proverb as said in Nepali) overruled it.
Whereas, now, when I find myself in a different phase than before, where I am acting in different roles of daughter, wife, and most importantly, the mother, my heart have started to paint the strokes of bright colours in my fading thoughts again. Whilst juggling with the various roles in home and office, I find myself reviving the wish of having a sister again. If I had one, I would have shared the experiences of my pre and post pregnancy, share the joy and insecurities of motherhood, window shop & watch movie together, criticize and appreciate each other, plan and discuss about our and babies future together and many more.
Most of my friends are gifted with sisters and the rapport they share with each other have always made me envious. Even I am fortunate to have a few friends with whom I find myself at ease. When I am with them, I am at my comfort zone, we chat nonstop, be the best critic whilst shopping, share the same cone of popcorn whilst watching movie, laugh at each other foolishness, cry on pain, pull each other legs, be a watch dog for the weight issue, plan a get together at each other home often, seek for advise and always support each other.
And, here I am again, comforting myself again that it does not matter if I do not have my own biological sister, since I have friends who are more than sister to me. I can share what I want to and I know they are always there for me when I seek them and I do not have to wait even long. I am blessed :-)
P.S. This does not mean that I do not love my cousins and my only brother, of course, I love and miss you all. No Offence to any of you.